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I Dare You

Ridiculously, my chest infection has flared up again leaving me feeling very sorry for myself and back in bed, where I seem to have spent most of my time since stopping work.  

I decided to use the time constructively this morning by clearing out my emails and I found this one from a friend in America.  It was doing the rounds a couple of years ago. You may have seen this before too but when I read it again it brought on a coughing fit as it rendered me helpless with laughter. I bet you can’t get to the end without laughing.  

The next time you have a meeting at work and you find it a bit boring, try one of the following.   Not only will it make things more interesting but your workmates will become suddenly more alert too!

Go on, I dare you! 

During a meeting

– Discreetly clasp hold of someone’s hand and whisper: ‘can you feel it?’ from the corner of your mouth

– Draw a moustache on your upper lip with a felt tip pen and then offer the pen to your neighbour

– Wear a hands free phone headset throughout. Once in a while drift off into an unrelated conversation, such as: ‘I don’t care if there are no dwarves, just get the show done!’

– Write the words ‘he fancies you’ on your pad and show it to the person next to you while indicating with your pen

– Respond to a serious question with: ‘I don’t know what to say, obviously I’m flattered, but it’s all happened so fast’

– Reconstruct the meeting in front of you using action figures and when anyone moves rearrange the figures accordingly

– Shave one of your forearms

– Draw a chalk circle around one of the chairs then avoid sitting on it when the meeting starts. When someone does eventually sit in it, cover your mouth and gasp

– Turn your back on the meeting and sit facing the window with your legs stretched out, announce that you ‘love this dirty town’

– Mount the desk and walk along its length before taking your seat

– Reflect sunlight into everyone’s eyes off your watch face

– Gargle with water

– Repeat every idea they express in a baby voice while moving your hand like a chattering mouth

– Hum throughout

– Pull out a large roll of bank notes and count them demonstratively

– Bend momentarily under the table then emerge wearing contact lenses that white out your eyes

– Use a large hunting knife to point at your visual aids

– Attempt to hypnotise the entire room using a pocket watch

– When referring to someone in the room always call them ‘homey’ or ‘dog’

– Leave long pauses in your speech at random moments. When someone is prompted to interject shout ‘I HAVE NOT FINISHED’

– Gradually push yourself closer and closer to the door on your chair

Meetings need never be the same again!

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12 thoughts on “I Dare You

  1. I think what makes this funny is that we can imagine doing them and then the reactions of those around us. Sue, you’re right, laughter IS good for the soul

  2. Hello there! I wondered why I wasn’t finding you on Blogger and then saw you were on WordPress. I joined by email now. I am so sorry you are still sick. I surely hope you are getting better. I love your ideas for boring meetings. My daughter could have used those tips since she was in a lot of them. I’ve always been a housewife and the meetings with my children were never boring! Thanks for dropping by.

  3. Thanks for all your lovely get well wishes. I almost wish I was working again just so that I could try out at least one of these at the meetings we used to have

  4. I do hope you feel better soon and you are getting out and about and annoying the world as we know it. I haven’t seen this particular list of ‘things to do’ and it made me giggle!

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